Hypnotherapy Information Exchange

Have you ever had the experience of a stranger coming out of the blue and having a piece of information that you needed? Have you ever been steered away from making a mistake by a friend or stranger in the right place at the right time? Can you recall what this felt like?

Have you ever sensed your role in another person’s mani­festation of an experience? You perhaps gave them something, or did something that felt right for you and for them was an uncanny coin­cidence. Have you ever found yourself in the right place to provide something important for another person? Perhaps you felt com­pelled to talk to a stranger and you had the piece of information they were looking for?

I call this interplay between indi­viduals ‘Dancing.’ We dance with others during every day of our lives. When we are open and willing, we par­ti­cipate and assist in the mani­festation of their experience and others do the same for us. Some of these exper­iences are positive, and we feel like we are in the very flow of life. Other exper­iences are more chal­lenging, or even negative, and can leave us ques­tioning how we came to attract such a negative or painful experience into our lives.

Law of Attraction and Relationships:

As a therapist, coach and indi­vidual, I have come to understand the Law of Attraction as an extremely powerful force which effects our lives, whether or not we are aware of how it is working at any one time. Simply put, what we give our focus, emotion, and attention, we attract into our lives. Moving towards deliberate attraction requires an awareness of our intention, attention and emo­tional state. In a sense, we move from sub­con­sciously creating events in our lives to con­sciously and delib­erately affecting our experience.

When talking about the law of attraction in rela­tionships, several questions come up. These include: Can we attract a specific person into our lives? Am I responsible — did I attract — this abuse from my col­league, partner, friend, or family member? How can I attract the rela­tionship I want?

One of the issues these questions have in common is a search for where our respons­ibility ends and another person’s begins.

Matching (Picking our Partners)

Everyone that you attract into our lives and engage with, are a match to something that you are vibrating at either a con­scious or sub­con­scious level.

If we want to know what you are vibrating, look at who you are attracting. It is a perfect match!

There are dif­ferent kinds of matches to our vibrations. The most obvious is when we get a similar match.

Ideally, we want to feel empowered, optimistic and joyful and attract other empowered and optimistic people to us in all aspects of our life. When this happens, there is a sharing and con­nection that feels won­derful. It is a perfect match!

When feeling down, (low vibration), you may attract a friend who calls to complain about all the things they are down about. In this case, our low vibration is attracting someone of similar vibration. We will often engage with the person and stay at that low vibration or perhaps col­lectively go lower. How does this feel?

Other Matches

Have you ever had a friend or client stuck in a ‘victim vibration’ who seemed to attract abusive partners in their romantic or business rela­tionships? Their vibration as a victim can be a match to a potential abuser. A second match to the ‘victim vibration’ is the rescuer. Rescuers, victims and abusers create what we know as the ‘victim’ or ‘drama’ triangle. These three roles vibrate matches to each other and indi­viduals often get stuck moving from point to point in the triangle. In one rela­tionship they may be the victim. IN the next, they mat be the rescuer or the abuser.

For example, many of the youth I have worked with in custody fall into this trap. They are often violent to ‘rescue’ a friend or to avenge a wrong. When caught, they feel vic­timized by police. When sen­tenced to custody, they feel like a victim of the justice system. They talk about getting even (offender role), blaming others for their situation (victim role) and wanting to stay with their boy or girl friend to keep them from getting into trouble (rescuer role). They continue to attract the same three matches into their lives and custody becomes a revolving door.

There are other less obvious vari­ations of this triangle. Chron­ically sick indi­viduals, very des­perate or needy people, often vibrate matches for people who try to help them or use them in some way.

DRAMA TRIANGLE

Vul­ner­ability

Most children and many adults live their lives uncon­scious of the law of attraction and the many other forces at work in creating their experience. Such people are unaware of the effect of their attention, focus and emotions. Their energy may be scattered rather than focussed and their emotions may be mixed and reactive. Such people are ‘vul­nerable’ and can become uncon­scious par­ti­cipants in the more focussed and deliberate mani­festation of others.

We know that most offenders pick their victims. This is a fact. They uncon­sciously or con­sciously match vul­nerable children, adults, (banks etc.) at an intuitive level. Younger children, the elderly, or adults with dis­ab­ilities are often chosen for this reason. Children, and some adults are then vul­nerable to become part of a more deliberate plan and action by someone with greater intention, emotion and focus.

In addition, there are indi­viduals who use these same laws of attraction to manifest power for them­selves, or harm to others. They believe they are right, entitled, or are uncon­sciously driven to such exper­iences. In some cases their focus is col­lective and extremely powerful. Ter­rorists and other fear-​​based organ­iz­ations are examples of this dynamic.

Free Choice

I once had a very amazing con­ver­sation with a Native teacher about the three concepts of destiny, potential, and free choice. To the best of my recol­lection, this is how he defined these concepts.

Destiny: Is an oppor­tunity to fulfill a life’s purpose. It is a pre­de­termined cir­cum­stance that will manifest at some point in life. Some Native groups believe that we are born with pre­destined chal­lenges that were agreed upon by our ancestors before our birth. Other Native groups believe that there are ‘deals’ made with other souls before birth to be part of their enlight­enment challenge here on earth.

Potential: When we are chal­lenged, the experience has the potential to be a powerful healing or destructive force. If we rise to the challenge and act out of integrity and grace, we heal both present and past issues related to the event. If we fail the challenge, we hurt ourselves and others involved.

Free Choice: We all have free choice. This is why we cannot attract a person to us who does not want to engage with us. We choose whom we engage with and we choose our actions.

We attract matches into our lives. It is our choice to engage with them or not. We are responsible for our actions. They are responsible for what they choose to do.

As we become more aware, we can also consider matches and exper­iences as powerful information and feedback as to what we are vibrating. We can also choose to engage or not engage, stay or leave. We can also choose to use this information to move ourselves to a dif­ferent level of vibration.

Implic­ations for Law Of Attraction Practitioners

Working with Others

Many of my coaching and coun­seling clients have been engaged in some form of the drama triangle (above). I have found the Law of Attraction tools to be very helpful in teaching an awareness of their emotions and how they are affecting their experience. They can learn that when they are in a ‘poor me,’ or ‘victim’ vibration, they are going to attract matches and choose to engage or not. They also learn the importance of changing their vibration and wit­nessing a change in the people they attract. By choosing a dif­ferent vibration, they become empowered and even begin to heal!

Implic­ations for Prac­ti­tioners and Coaches

For law of attraction prac­ti­tioners and coaches, we put out the intention of assisting others and attract such exper­iences to ourselves in the form of clients. We offer ourselves as ‘helpers’ for indi­viduals who are choosing to manifest events in their lives. This experience is often very intuitive and joyful. We feel like we are in the flow of life.

Have you also exper­ienced this intention bubbling over to exper­iences outside of you practice as well?

At times, we will attract people who will want to elevate us to heroes and rescuers. They will say things like “no-​​one under­stands me but you.” “Without you I would be lost….” They want direct advice — for you to make the decisions. This however, does not empower, it keeps them in their com­fortable ‘victim’ role. Coun­selors and coaches may become seduced into the role of rescuer and join the client in the drama triangle. How might this impact our lives outside of the office?

In Closing

As law of attraction prac­ti­tioners and coaches, we can share powerful information and tools to empower others to make their own decisions and assume a new kind of respons­ibility in their rela­tionships. We can empower others to dance with grace and integrity towards joyful and ful­filling relationships!

This article was ori­ginally pub­lished on www.HypnotherapyClinic.info by Con­sultant Clinical Hyp­no­therapist & Pys­cho­therapist Noel Bradford –

As a pro­fes­sional therapist Noel help people with everything that you would expect including giving up smoking, con­trolling their weight, dealing with fears and phobias. However his services go far beyond this and encompass things that affect everyone at some time in their life, such as depression, anxiety, panic attacks, stress, and low self esteem.

He  also has detailed spe­cialist training in several areas including but not limitted to Irrittable Bowel Syndrome and Pyscho­sexual matters that affect men such as Errectile Dys­function and Pre­mature Ejac­u­lation as well as those affecting women such as Hyper Desire Disorder, Vaginisums, and Dys­pareunia.

Ori­ginally posted 2010-​​01-​​16 11:21:00.